GRAMMY’S TRYING TO AVOID AN FCC FINE

Following an f-bomb during the live Super Bowl broadcast, CBS cannot afford to risk another obscene moment at the Grammy Awards. The network’s legal department drafted a harshly worded memo detailing inappropriate attire. CBS declares side boob, female genitalia, and butt crack “unacceptable for broadcast.”

Here’s the laundry list of body parts CBS has warned Grammy performers and presenters to keep completely covered: “Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible 'puffy' bare skin exposure.”  Recent offenders have been Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez, Pink, and Toni Braxton